Are you also someone who shows up notoriously early at Departures? If yes, you are likely also the type of person who has their Christmas presents wrapped and ready a week before parting with them. Last-minute stress is unpleasant, whether getting on a red-eye in the morning or getting a red-nose on Christmas Eve.
Giving gifts is a curious part of being human and genuine altruism (i.e. giving without any hope or expectation of being reciprocated) is a puzzle to evolutionary biologists. It should not exist, they argue, as altruism (and empathy) are in conflict with Darwin’s evolutionary theory which postulates that natural selection favors selfish traits over prosocial traits and deeds, and egoism over altruism.
No human society exists that does not subscribe to the principle of reciprocation, the principle of ‘give and take’. Children learn the value as part of their socialization. ‘Freeriding’ children are reprimanded and if repeated, socially marginalized. Behaving altruistically towards strangers with no prospect of reciprocation is in the tradition of hospitality in many cultures. On closer examination hospitality is however not based on altruism but on reciprocation, albeit the benefactor and the beneficiary are not the same person. Only if the principle of giving food, drink or shelter to strangers is a highly held value in a society will it help the society at large survive in hostile environments. Don’t throw out Darwin’s ‘Origins of Species’ yet.
A sales director inviting his team for dinner at his own cost is not likely to act truly altruistically. He may be more likely to issue such an invitation if he truly likes working with what a team of great people but will still, at least as an afterthought’, expect reciprocity, if over the longer term in the form of loyalty, commitment, and effort. Reciprocal altruism is more akin to an investment (including the risk of loss in case of no return on investment) than a gift to a stranger with no possibility of reciprocity. Yet, there are people who donate blood for earthquake victims, or help a blind man cross the street. These altruistic acts come with no expectation of reciprocation.
Scientists specializing in happiness studies know of the power of kindness to improve one’s and others’ wellbeing. Across multiple experiments involving approximately 1,000 participants, behavioral scientists at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business had people perform a random act of kindness: giving away hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day to people at an ice-skating rink in a public park. It was done with the primary intention of making someone else (who isn’t expecting the gesture) feel good. Those who perform such actions expected nothing in return. They found that both performers and recipients of the acts of kindness were in more positive moods than prior to these exchanges. Equally importantly, altruists undervalued the impact of their act of kindness whereas recipients felt significantly better than the kind actors had expected. The beneficiaries also consistently rated these acts as “bigger” than the people performing them did, in other words, they underestimated how positive recipients would feel.
I prefer readers of my book, many of whom will be smarter than myself, to draw their own conclusions of any insights but at the risk of sounding paternalistic let me offer a piece of advice to junior leaders: developing a network of supportive followers is the most important challenge for any newcomer in an organization, and on the list of priorities this objective should come right after establishing credibility. Studying strategic plans, analyst reports or organization charts may provide an understanding of how a company has developed and who has which important job, but it does nothing to understand the hidden web of power and influence within an organization. Every organization has its veterans, often senior staffers such as the Corporate Secretary, the VP of Treasury, or the Head of Procurement, but also drivers, long-serving executive assistants, or receptionists. Surviving all reorganizations and downsizings, they often consider themselves lifetime members of a ‘family’. They may possess unique, difficult to replace technical skills, or equally difficult to replace institutional memory. Frequently, they have friends in high places, commonly early companions who have reached the highest levels in the organization. Most veterans appreciate a rookie who takes an interest in them, and they will be eager to share their knowledge about who has real power, who hasn’t, how to gain the attention of the former and minimize time wasted with the latter. They may even buy you coffee.
I wish you Happy Holidays – if looking for ideas for New Year’s resolutions, you might consider spending more time gardening, more specifically ‘planting trees under which shade you may never sit’, as the ancient Chinese proverb so well defined the meaning of Leadership.